Longer Goodbyes

we're pregnant, again. we'll be 6 weeks tomorrow. the doctor said she will be watching us more closely, more for our comfort than theirs. please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. we'll keep you up to date.

Jorai Mae

steve and i have created a slide show so people can meet Jorai. if you'd like to see it, click below to start. i can't seem to make it any bigger. sorry.

to see the photos, click here.

sad news

for those of you who have only heard parts of these past few days and for those who haven't yet heard, we lost our baby girl this weekend. i've been struggling if i should write this, but with all the love thats pouring in, i felt that i needed to both for all of you who love us and for me, to just get it out.

friday night, i stopped feeling the baby move. she was always intermittent with her movements, but i instantly knew something was wrong. but i waited, thinking i was wrong. by saturday i was getting more and more nervous and by 2, i finally called the dr. she told us to come in to the the ob er right away. when we arrived, they immediately tried to find a heartbeat both with a doppler and then ultrasound. both told us what we already feared. our baby was gone. by 2:30 we knew what was to come but how do you prepare? how do you wait to deliver a child that you've dreamt about and loved and anticipated for the past 7 months, only to know that when she comes into this world, she'll never be apart of it? i was given drugs to induce labor starting at 3 on saturday. it was a long wait. we were shocked and numb and devastated. and all we could do was wait, to deliver our child.

at 7:13 last night, sunday 3 June 07, i delivered Jorai Mae at 28 weeks 4 days. she was 2 pounds 1 ounces and was absolutely beautiful. she was so long (14 1/4 inches) and had these beautiful long fingers and feet. just like steve and i. she had started to grow hair. it was darker in color. and her little face was gorgeous. we were able to hold her and love on her for as long as we wanted. they dressed her in a tiny little dress and wrapped her in a tiny little blanket. they took many beautiful pictures of her and took hand and foot prints. when we left the hospital, they gave us a memory box with all these belongings.

we found out that there was an aneurysm in the umbilical cord. it was a freak accident and her death was quick. we're going back to the doctors tomorrow so we'll probably hear more. but until then that's all we know.

so here we are, left here alone and in a world what seems empty in a way. i can see and touch everything, but nothing seems real. nothing seems really there. we're just in limbo. in this state of shock. what do you do? where do you go? i feel blessed that steve and i have one another. he has been such a blessing to me. but i feel Jorai missing. i feel an emptiness in my belly, in my heart. i feel her surrounding us, yet i know i will never know her. i'll never touch her again. i'll never see what she becomes or hear her laughter. see her smile.

i don't know why this has happened. why it happened so late. but i can't dwell on that. i have to believe it happened for a reason. whether we'll ever know why, i don't know. but i have to believe that there's a reason. all i know know is that steve and i had a beautiful daughter. we loved her as she grew inside of me, and we love her still. she'll never be far from our thoughts and hearts. she was our daughter.

i wanted to thank all of you for your love and support. we are so blessed to have such family and friends surrounding us. thank you for your calls and your messages and emails, letters and your outreaches of love. your support has been amazing. please know that we're getting your messages and they really help us. just hearing your love fills those empty spaces in our hearts. we're so numb right now. we're trying to find peace in this. just 4 days ago we had this active little girl flipping around inside of me and now, we have a loss that we can't put to words. please know that although we may not answer the phone or door for awhile, that we do hear and feel your love and we appreciate every ounce of it. in time, we will reach out. but for now, we need the comfort of one another and to be held in the arms of Jesus, the only One who can ease our pain.

thank you all for all your love and support. please keep us and Jorai in your prayers. we love you all so much

kim and steve

Professional Wedding photos

We got our wedding photos from Travis last Friday! Here's the link you can click on to check them out and/or order them.

Enjoy!!

Wedding pictures from Travis

the elusive wedding slide show

for those of you who are interested, we finally figured out how to put video up, so you can now view the elusive wedding slide show that we couldn't seem to get working at the reception until after 10...our friends Matt and Krista made this montage for us. it's long...15 minutes, but if your interested in seeing steve and i growing up, click below...

enjoy!

Video

We just found out that our videographer, Aaron, has placed our wedding video's on his business site. If you want to see the video of the wedding or the wedding highlight video he made, click on the below link. a new window will open and music will start playing. you may want to turn it off. That option is at the bottom of the screen, on the right. click on 'music' and the sound will fade.

To see the video, click on the tab that says 'samples' (you may need to scroll up or down to see this option). A page book will turn and give you 5 choices. 4 of them say Steve & Kim. They may take a bit to load, but they're available if you're interested. They're also a bit distorted but you can still see everything pretty well.

Let me know if you need more direction. and enjoy!

PromisesKeptVideo.com

more wedding photos

These are the photo's I've received from my Father and Uncle. They are predominately Ells family photos...once I get the professional ones, I'll post them. and if any of you have any electronic photos~send them our way! Click on photo to view album...

Enjoy!!

wedding for online album

Oct 7, 2006 - 105 Photos

Honeymoon photo montage

so, after spending a few hours downloading the first installment of the wedding photo's I ran into this free service called picasa, that seems to work a whole lot better!!! so, click on the photo of Steve and I to see the entire montage in picasa. Like always, click on the photo if you want to see the larger version!

cheers!! Steve and Kim

honeymoon pic 4 blog

Oct 7, 2006 - 63 Photos

Wedding teaser photos

Here are the first few photos of our wedding that we wanted to post for y'all...don't worry there will be much more. we haven't gotten all the pictures from folks and we haven't gotten the professional ones either...so more will be coming!! enjoy the first few. If you click on the pictures, they should open up in another window in a larger scale.

we wanted our wedding outside, but the weather had other plans...so we brought the woods in. The picture doesn't do it justice, but a photo of the woods we were to be married in front of was projected on the front wall in front of the arch. the flowers were beautiful!

the psalters helped us bring in the celebration. they rocked the house down. mad props to them!

Steve and Biggie...aka Athan looking all dapper in their tuxes.

My sister in law Sarah...my matron of honor looking amazing! She was wonderful, I couldn't have had a better shoulder to lean on!

Psalters taking left of stage.

Noel gave an amazing message. We were in awe of everything he said, including mentioning a part of an Ogden Nash poem...Steve and I have just recently gotten into Ogden Nash, so it was a surprise to hear that one! We have the audio of the ceremony and I still get chills listening to all he said.